I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
