After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
