She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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