we have officially lost it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
