I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
