so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
