I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
