Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
