so explain again why im purple
no
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
