Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
