life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
