Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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