dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Gay?
German.
Pity.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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