Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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