thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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