so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I love you. Go after that dick
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