Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
