Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
