I'm really into asian looking animals
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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