I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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