I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
