"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
