For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
