I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
