Just fell off a train. Bad.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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