no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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