I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
