Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
