It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
