I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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