I understand Curling. That high.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
