another moral hangover. fuck.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
