Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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