I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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