like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
