What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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