She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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