Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
