so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize