She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We need to rekindle our bromance
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
