i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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