ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
