Porn is love you can see.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
