One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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