Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
