but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
