apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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