Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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