Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
