Please, let me fuck your mom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
